Just a comment on our multicultural society

The Brussels and Paris Killers were Muslims

The San Bernardino Killers were Muslims

The Chattanooga Reserve Center Shooter was a Muslim

The Shoe Bomber was a Muslim

The Beltway Snipers were Muslims

The Fort Hood Shooter was a Muslim

The underwear Bomber was a Muslim

The U.S.S. Cole Bombers were Muslims

The Madrid Train Bombers were Muslims

The Bali Nightclub Bombers were Muslims

The London Subway Bombers were Muslims

The Moscow Theatre Attackers were Muslims

The Boston Marathon Bombers were Muslims

The Pan-Am flight #93 Bombers were Muslims

The Air France Entebbe Hijackers were Muslims

The Iranian Embassy Takeover, was by Muslims

The Beirut U.S. Embassy bombers were Muslims

The Libyan U.S. Embassy Attack was by Muslims

The Buenos Aires Suicide Bombers were Muslims

The Israeli Olympic Team Attackers were Muslims

The Kenyan U.S, Embassy Bombers were Muslims

The Saudi, Khobar Towers Bombers were Muslims

The Beirut Marine Barracks bombers were Muslims

The Besian Russian School Attackers were Muslims

The first World Trade Center Bombers were Muslims

The Bombay & Mumbai India Attackers were Muslims

The Achille Lauro Cruise Ship Hijackers were Muslims

The September 11th 2001 Airline Hijackers were Muslims

The complete list is LITERALLY ENDLESS and added to daily.

Islamic Jihad: AN ISLAMIC TERROR ORGANIZATION

ISIS : AN ISLAMIC TERROR ORGANIZATION (Barry’s JV TEAM)

Al-Qaeda: AN ISLAMIC TERROR ORGANIZATION

Taliban: AN ISLAMIC TERROR ORGANIZATION

Hamas: AN ISLAMIC TERROR ORGANIZATION

Hezbollah: AN ISLAMIC TERROR ORGANIZATION

Boko Haram: AN ISLAMIC TERROR ORGANIZATION

Al-Nusra: AN ISLAMIC TERROR ORGANIZATION

Abu Sayyaf: AN ISLAMIC TERROR ORGANIZATION

Al-Badr: AN ISLAMIC TERROR ORGANIZATION

Muslim Brotherhood: AN ISLAMIC TERROR ORGANIZATION

Lashkar-e-Taiba: AN ISLAMIC TERROR ORGANIZATION

Palestine Liberation Front: AN ISLAMIC TERROR ORGANIZATION

Ansaru: AN ISLAMIC TERROR ORGANIZATION

Jemaah Islamiyah: AN ISLAMIC TERROR ORGANIZATION

Abdullah Azzam Brigades: AN ISLAMIC TERROR ORGANIZATION

The Declaration of Independence

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.— That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.— Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

  • He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
  • He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
  • He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
  • He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
  • He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
  • He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
  • He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
  • He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
  • He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
  • He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
  • He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
  • He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
  • He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
  • For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
  • For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
  • For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
  • For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
  • For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
  • For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
  • For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
  • For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
  • For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
  • He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
  • He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
  • He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy of the Head of a civilized nation.
  • He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
  • He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

Lifetime Movie Drinking Game

Making it entertaining in the “Oh god this is a bad lifetime movie” kind of way.

  • Glass breaks? Drink once
  • It was a mirror? Drink twice
  • It was a mirror broken in self-loathing? Drink thrice
  • Shaky camera to convey emotional distress or drug induced alteration of consciousness? Drink once
  • Tough love is administered? Drink once
  • Tough love bruises / wounds discovered by teacher? Drink twice
  • Eating disorder? Drink once
  • Self harm? Drink once
  • Self harm intervention by best friend / parent? Drink twice

Raising a Canadian

The problem with owning a Canadian is their special dietary and living needs. Your free range Canadian lives exclusively on a diet of maple syrup and back-bacon. And will only bed on a large pile of fresh maple leaves ringed with snow.

Computer Security Lies

Apple: “We’ll be taking your fingerprint, but don’t worry. It’ll only be stored locally. Not that it matters. You’re going to keep buying our stuff anyhow.”

Microsoft: “The Xbox will have an always-on camera, but don’t worry. It’ll only be stored locally. Not that it matters. You’re going to keep buying our stuff anyhow.”

Google: “We’re scanning your wifi signals and passwords, but don’t worry. We wouldn’t use that irresponsibly. Not that it matters. You’re going to keep buying our stuff anyhow.”

Self Improvement Advice from the Devil

1 – Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.

2 – Half the people you know are below average.

3 – 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

4 – 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5 – A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

6 – A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

7 – The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

8 – If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

9 – Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

10 – When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

11 – Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

12 – Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

13 – I intend to live forever……so far, so good.

14 – Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

15 – If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

16 – A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

17 – Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

18 – The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

19 – The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

Eight Rules of Things Going Wrong

What can possibly go wrong?

  1. It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so very ingenious.
  2. To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.
  3. If there is a possibility that several things can go wrong, then the one that will cause the greatest damage will be the one to go wrong.
  4. If anything absolutely can NOT go wrong, it will anyway.
  5. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
  6. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
  7. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  8. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

Some laws to live by

Precepts, Conundrum, etc.

Ending with a blog title with a preposition is murphed up

  • Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment – Ducharme’s Precept
  • An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears this is true – Cardinal Conundrum
  • 98% of all statistics are made up – 1st Rule of Applied Mathematics
  • Almost anything is easier to get into than to get out of – Allen’s Law
  • If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods – Williams and Holland’s Law
  • Delay is the deadliest form of denial – Parkinson’s Law of Delay
  • What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away – Green’s Contract Rule
  • A negotiation shall be considered successful if all parties walk away feeling screwed – Lucas’s Law of Negotiation
  • Teamwork is wasting half of one’s time explaining to others why they are wrong – Wolinski’s Law
  • Only a mediocre person is always at his best – Maugham’s Rule
  • Don’t worry over what other people are thinking about you. They’re too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them
    – Edelstein’s Advice
  • The only time to be positive is when you are positive you are wrong – Holten’s Homily
  • Nostalgia is the realization that things weren’t as unbearable as they seemed at the time – Grimes’s Law
  • Don’t worry about avoiding temptation-as you grow older, it starts to avoid you – Russell’s Rule
  • Traditions are solutions for which we have forgotten the problems – Peterson’s Principle
  • It’s difficult to soar with eagles when you work with turkeys – Langsam’s Ornithological Axiom
  • Experience is what causes you to make new mistakes instead of old ones – Cannon’s Canon
  • The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth – Bohr’s Axiom
  • Two things a man cannot hide: that he is drunk, and that he is in love – Antiphanes’ Axiom
  • No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid – Maury’s Law
  • You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever – Anderson’s Axiom
  • Sow your wild oats on Saturday night, then on Sunday pray for crop failure – Farmer’s Credo
  • Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. – Osburn’s Axiom
  • An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it – Storman’s Law
  • The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers – Harris’s Warning
  • Nothing exists except atoms and empty space. Everything else is opinion – Democritus’s Principle
  • The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is its inefficiency – McCarthy’s Maxim
  • Virtue is its own punishment – Denniston’s Law
  • The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because its so shallow – Unknown
  • I may be lying in the gutter, but I’m staring at the stars – Oscar Wilde
  • Lost time is never found – Benjamin Franklin from Poor Richard’s Almanac
  • I should be groaning over the sins I have commited, but I can only sigh for what I have lost – Heloise [a nun from the Middle Ages]
  • Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely – Bette-Jane Raphael
  • Praying is like a rocking chair – it’ll give you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere – Gypsy Rose Lee
  • I think we can agree racial prejudice is stupid. Because if you spend time with someone from another race and really get to know them, you can find other reasons to hate them – Bernadette Luckett
  • I smile because i have no idea what’s going on – Unknown

Some laws to live by

Laws and Rules

First, do not end sentences in a preposition often.

  • If anything can go wrong, it will – Murphy’s Law
  • One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory – Brown’s Rule
  • If you don’t need it and don’t want it, there is always plenty of it – Murphy’s Law of Supply
  • In America, it’s not how much an item costs, it’s how much you save – Paulg’s Law
  • Don’t believe everything you hear or anything you say – Murray’s Law
  • Marriage teaches you loyality, forbearance, selfrestraint, meekness, and a great many other things you wouldn’t need if you had stayed single – Townsend’s Law
  • It doesn’t matter if you win or lose… until you lose – O.J.’s Law
  • Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups – Wethern’s Law of Suspended Judgment
  • There are no answers, only cross-references – Weiner’s Law of Libraries
  • To err is human, but to really f*ck things up requires a computer – Law of Unreliability
  • Once you give up integrity, the rest is easy – Evan’s Law
  • Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other – Ameringer’s Axiom
  • When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong – the 5th Rule of Politics
  • No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right – Scott’s First Law
  • Murphy’s Law always hits at the worst time – Lanning’s Law
  • Things get worse under pressure – Murphy’s Law of Thermodynamics
  • Sometimes it takes several years to recognize the obvious – Sy’s Law of Science
  • If you are in a hole, stop digging – 1st Rule of Excavation
  • There is no issue so small that it can’t be blown out of proportion – Ruckert’s Law
  • The degree to which you overreact to information will be in inverse proportion to its accuracy – Weatherwax’s Postulate
  • The item you had your eye on the minute you walked in will be taken by the person in front of you – Cafeteria Law
  • Nothing is as temporary as that which is called permanent – Jose’s Axiom
  • Nothing is as permanent as that which is called temporary – Corollary
  • Free time that unexpectedly becomes available will be wasted – Sandiland’s Law
  • The one who does the least work will get the most credit – Shapiro’s Law of Reward
  • No matter how often a lie is shown to be false, there will remain a percentage of people who believe it to be true – Law of the Lie
  • The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made – Glyme’s Formula for Success
  • Never replicate a successful experiment – Fett’s Law of the Lab
  • Accuracy is the sum total of your compensating mistakes – Wingfield’s Axiom
  • As soon as you’re doing what you wanted to be doing, you want to be doing something else – Law of Living
  • There’s no time like the present for postponing what you don’t want to do – Hecht’s Law
  • Whichever way you turn upon entering an elevator, the buttons will be on the opposite side – Gluck’s Law
  • If credit can possibly go to someone else, it will – Kovaleski’s Dictum
  • If you don’t do anything, you can’t do anything wrong – Cameron’s Law
  • It is impossible for anyone to learn that which he thinks he already knows – Plutarch’s Rule
  • The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people – Chesterton
  • A little inaccuracy can save a lot of explanation – Munroe’s Teaching Principle
  • You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive – Grandpa Charnock’s Law
  • Man is always ready to die for an idea, provided that the idea is not quite clear to him – Eldridge’s Law of War
  • If you don’t care where you are, you’re not lost – Rune’s Rule of the Road
  • The probability of someone’s asking irrelevant questions requiring lengthy responses increases in direct proportion to how tired you are of the meeting. – Bowlby’s Law