Was You Told?

[ ] Not Told
[ ] Told
[ ] Really Told
[X] TOLDASAURUS REX
[X] Cash4told.com
[X] No country for told men
[X] Knights of the told Republic
[X] ToldSpice
[x] The Elder Tolds IV: Oblivious
[x] Command & Conquer: Toldberian Sun
[x] GuiTold Hero: World Told
[X] Told King of Boletaria
[x] Countold Strike
[x] Unreal Toldament
[x] Stone-told Steve Austin
[X] Half Life 2: Episode Told
[X] Roller Coaster Toldcoon
[x] Assassin’s Creed: Tolderhood
[x] Battletolds
[x] S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shatold of Chernobyl
[X] Toldasauraus Rex 2: Electric Toldaloo
[x] Told of Duty 4: Modern Toldfare
[X] Pokemon Told and Silver
[x] The Legend of Eldorado : The Lost City of Told
[X] Rampage: Toldal Destruction
[x] Told Fortress Classic
[x] Toldman: Arkham Told
[X] The Good, The Bad, and The Told
[x] Super Mario SunTold
[x] Legend of Zelda: Toldacarnia of Time
[X] Toldstone creamery
[x] Mario Golf: Toldstool Tour
[X] Super Told Boy
just double space

Broasting

Broasting – The speech given by the Best Man at a wedding which ends with a story involving prostitutes and is stopped by the father-in-law.

Four doctors were sitting around chatting

Four doctors were sitting around chatting.

The French doctor says:
Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.

The German doctor says:
That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.

The Russian doctor says:
In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.

The American doctor, not to be outdone, says:
You guys are way behind – we recently took a man with no brain out of Illinois, put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work.

I blame the Republicans for big butts.

Oh my god, Becky, look at her butt
It is so big

She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends
Who understands those rap guys
They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute, ok?
I mean her butt
It’s just so big
I can’t believe it’s so round
It’s just out there
I mean, it’s gross
Look, she’s just so black

The Universe is a Simulation OR The Creator is a Gamer

A guy was at his computer and started up Conway’s game of life. Since this was the newest, latest model of your favorite computer workstation the simulation creatures became sentient.

They discovered they are made of cells.

They said, “Look, THE INFINITESIMAL CELL is always created from NOTHING. If things happens FROM NOTHING, there is NO NEED FOR A CREATOR, so THERE IS NO CREATOR, and besides NOBODY ever witnessed something different THAN THE DETERMINISTIC APPLICATION OF RULES. How smart are we?”

So the guy at the PC said to himself, “Thank you for nothing, guys” and went making himself some coffee.

But before he left, he sent the computer a “restart ALL services” command from the Root Prompt.

And it was DONE.

No one believes Obama because

He …

A. is a lying liar who lies.

B. hasn’t told the truth yet about anything regarding Obamacare.

C. says whatever is most politically convenient to him in the moment.

D. does not understand math, insurance, or Americans.

E. all of the above