Was You Told?

[ ] Not Told
[ ] Told
[ ] Really Told
[X] TOLDASAURUS REX
[X] Cash4told.com
[X] No country for told men
[X] Knights of the told Republic
[X] ToldSpice
[x] The Elder Tolds IV: Oblivious
[x] Command & Conquer: Toldberian Sun
[x] GuiTold Hero: World Told
[X] Told King of Boletaria
[x] Countold Strike
[x] Unreal Toldament
[x] Stone-told Steve Austin
[X] Half Life 2: Episode Told
[X] Roller Coaster Toldcoon
[x] Assassin’s Creed: Tolderhood
[x] Battletolds
[x] S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shatold of Chernobyl
[X] Toldasauraus Rex 2: Electric Toldaloo
[x] Told of Duty 4: Modern Toldfare
[X] Pokemon Told and Silver
[x] The Legend of Eldorado : The Lost City of Told
[X] Rampage: Toldal Destruction
[x] Told Fortress Classic
[x] Toldman: Arkham Told
[X] The Good, The Bad, and The Told
[x] Super Mario SunTold
[x] Legend of Zelda: Toldacarnia of Time
[X] Toldstone creamery
[x] Mario Golf: Toldstool Tour
[X] Super Told Boy
just double space

Lifetime Movie Drinking Game

Making it entertaining in the “Oh god this is a bad lifetime movie” kind of way.

  • Glass breaks? Drink once
  • It was a mirror? Drink twice
  • It was a mirror broken in self-loathing? Drink thrice
  • Shaky camera to convey emotional distress or drug induced alteration of consciousness? Drink once
  • Tough love is administered? Drink once
  • Tough love bruises / wounds discovered by teacher? Drink twice
  • Eating disorder? Drink once
  • Self harm? Drink once
  • Self harm intervention by best friend / parent? Drink twice

Broasting

Broasting – The speech given by the Best Man at a wedding which ends with a story involving prostitutes and is stopped by the father-in-law.

Sec of State John Kerry Limericks

There once was a Rhode Island tax cheat
Whose wife had bought him a Senate seat
His vote sent boat jobs asunder
His swift boat was built down under
And priced as a reward for that sorry feat.

——————————————————–

There once was a dillhole named Kerry
Who said for his tax “I’ll pay nary”
So he preened on his yacht
Tax man asked “whatcha got?”
“Tain’t nothing but a broken down ferry”

——————————————————–

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Just like George said
Kerry hasn’t a clue.

——————————————————–

Kerry had a little lamb
Its fleece was black as coal
Every time it jumped the fence
You could see its big black hole.

——————————————————–

Palestinians panned you, Israelis did too,
And each time you speak, you step in the poo;
But when you retire you’ll still have some fame;
You’ll swell up with pride when you loudly proclaim
That for all of the bullshit you worked hard to spew,
Hillary Clinton was STILL worse than you.

——————————————————–

There once was a man named John Kerry
Went to Vietnam and sang like a canary
A communist at heart and not very smart
Obama made him secretary.