Be Thankful Conservatives and Liberals can Compromise

If a Conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a Liberal doesn’t like guns, she wants all guns outlawed.
If a Conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a Liberal is a vegetarian, she wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a Conservative is gay, he quietly leads his life.
If a Liberal is gay, she demands legislated respect.
If a Conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
If a Liberal is down-and-out she wonders who is going to take care of her.
If a Conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
A Liberal demands that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a Conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A Liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
If a Conservative decides he needs health care, he either shops for it, or chooses a job that provides it.
If a Liberal decides she needs health care, she demands that the rest of us pay for hers.

Obamacare Baseball

Fifty thousand people go to a baseball game, but the game was rained out and a refund was due.

The team was about to send out refunds when someone stopped them and suggested that they send out refund amounts based on the their interpretation of fairness. After all, if the refunds were made based on the price each person paid for the tickets, most of the money would go to the richest people.

Their plan says:

– People in the $10 seats will get back $15, because they had less money to spend.

– People in the $15 seats will get back $15, because that’s only fair.

– People in the $25 seats will get back $1, because they already make a lot of money and don’t need a refund.

– People in the $50 luxury seats will have to pay another $50, because they already have way too much money to spend.

– People driving by the stadium who couldn’t afford to watch the game will get $10 each, even though they didn’t pay anything in, just because they need the most help.

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are — or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”

DeadMau5

🙁

deadmau5That mouse is dead! He’s passed on! he is no more! He has ceased to be! He’s expired and gone to meet his maker! He’s a stiff! Bereft of life! He’s kicked the bucket! He’s pushing up daisies! THAT IS AN EX-MOUSE!

The Obama Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the White House
Not a creature was working, not even his spouse;
No stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
because Michelle and the kids were in Hawaii spending 7 million there;

The Obama voters were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of free cell phones danced in their heads;
And mamma with her free healthcare, and unemployment benefits with no cap,
Had just settled down for a free winter’s nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the mail box I flew like a flash,
Tore open the mail and got my free cash.

The welfare check hadn’t got wet in the snow
Obama was still passing out free dough,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a sign I must not work, at all of next year,

With a Socialist driver, so conniving and quick,
I knew in a moment he was their Saint Nick.
More taxes for the working and spending pretty much insane,
and he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, Daschle! Now, Boxer! Now, Franken and Reid!
On, Pelosi! On Feinstein! On, Baucus and Biden!
over the debt ceiling! No spending fire wall!
Now tax away! Tax away! Tax away all!”

Direct quotes from Obama, Hillary and Senators about ObamaCare

These are all direct quotes from Obama, Hillary and Senators about ObamaCare…

Obama, Aug. 15, 2009: I just want to be completely clear about this; I keep on saying this but somehow folks aren’t listening, if you like your health care plan, you keep your health care plan. Nobody is going to force you to leave your health care plan.

The Obama, March 25, 2010: From this day forward, all of the cynics, all the naysayers, they’re going to have to confront the reality of what this reform is and what it isn’t.

The Obama, June 28, 2012: First, if you’re one of the more than 250 million Americans who already have health insurance, you will keep your health insurance — this law will only make it more secure and more affordable.

Hillary Clinton, Sept. 17, 2007 “You can keep the doctors you know and trust. You keep the insurance you have,” “If you have private insurance you like, nothing changes, you can keep that insurance.” (Broadlawns Medical Center, Des Moines, Iowa).

Sen. Landrieu (D-LA): “If you like the insurance that you have, you’ll be able to keep it.” (MSNBC’s Hardball, 12/16/09)

Sen. Hagan (D-NC): “We need to support the private insurance industry so that people who have insurance they’re happy with can keep it (National Journal’s Congress Daily, 6/18/09)

Sen. Begich (D-AK): “If you got a doctor now, you got a medical professional you want, you get to keep that”.

Sen. Bennet (D-CO): “Start with the basic principle if you have coverage and you like it, you can keep it. If you have your doctor, and you like him or her, you should be able to keep them. We will not take that choice away from you.”

Sen. Murry (D-WA): “Again, if you like what you have, you will be able to keep it. Let me say this again: If you like what you have, when our legislation is passed and signed by the President, you will be able to keep it.” (Congressional Record, S.6400, 6/10/09)

Sen. Harkin (D-IA): “One of the things we put in the health care bill when we designed it was the protection for consumers to keep the plan they have if they like it”…we said, if you like a plan, you get to keep it, and you can grandfather it in.” (Congressional Record, S.7675-6, 9/29/10)

Sen. Schumer (D-NY): “If you like your insurance, you keep it.” (U.S. Senate, Finance Committee, Bill Mark-Up, 9/24/09)

Sen. Durbin (D-IL): “This bill before us on the Senate floor makes it clear that if you have an insurance policy that you like, you can keep it. If you like the doctor that you’re currently doing business with, you can continue to use that doctor.” (Teleconference, 12/4/09)

Sen. Reid (D-NV):“In fact, one of our core principles is that if you like the health care you have, you can keep it.” (Congressional Record, S.8642, 8/3/09)

Sen. Baucus (D-MT): “That is why one of the central promises of health care reform has been and is: If you like what you have, you can keep it. That is critically important. If a person has a plan, and he or she likes it, he or she can keep it.” (Congressional Record, S.7676, 9/29/10)

Sen. Levin (D) Mi. April 6, 2012: And it is important to remember that for those who already have health insurance, the law allows you to keep your existing plan.

Sen. Merkley (D) Or. Nov. 11, 2013: If you like your current health insurance, you will be able to keep it. And you will be able to continue seeing your current doctor.

45 Obama Lies plus One

1. I will have the most transparent administration.
2. I have Shovel ready jobs.
3. The IRS is not targeting anyone.
4. If four Americans get killed, it is not optimal.
5. There are going to be bumps in the road. (referring to Libya and Egypt protests/attacks).
6. ObamaCare will be good for America.
7. You can keep your family doctor.
8. Premiums will be lowered by $2500
9. You can keep your current healthcare plan
10. Just shop around, for that healthcare I claimed you wouldn’t lose.
11. I am sorry you lost your healthcare, (you know the health care you have to shop around for, ya the same health care I said you could keep, yup, that’s the one).
12. I did not say you could keep your health care. (Regardless that 29 recorded videos show I did)
13. ObamaCare will not be offered to illegal immigrants.
14. ObamaCare will not be used to fund abortions.
15. ObamaCare will cost less than 1 Trillion Dollars.
16. No one making under $250,000 will see their taxes raised one dime.
17. It is Bushes fault. (this can be inserted in between every statement).
18. It was about a movie.
19. I will fundamentally transform America.
20. If I had a son.
21. I am not a dictator.
22. I will put an end to the type of politics that “breeds division, conflict and cynicism”.
23. You didn’t build that.
24. I will restore trust in Government.
25. The Cambridge police acted stupidly.
26. I am not after your guns.
27. The fact that we are here today to debate raising America’s debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. The BHO of (2006).
28. I have been practicing…I bowled a 129. It’s like — it was like Special Olympics.
29. “If I don’t have this done in three years, then this is going to be a one-term proposition.
30. I do think at a certain point you’ve made enough money.
31. I think when you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody.
32. The Public Will Have 5 Days To Look At Every Bill That Lands On My Desk
33. It’s not my red line it is the worlds red line.
34. Whistle blowers will be protected.
35. We got back Every Dime we Used to Rescue the Banks, with interest.
36. I am good at killing people.
37. I will close Gitmo. (but instead built them a $750,000 soccer field).
38. The point I was making was not that Grandmother harbors any racial animosity. She doesn’t, but she is a typical white person
39. I am not spying on American citizens.
40. By, on, on, by, Friday uh afternoon things get a little uh, uh challenged uh, uh ( when left to think for himself without a Teleprompter).
41. I am a Christian.
42. John McCain has not talked about my Muslim faith.
43. It’s not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy.
44. UPS and FedEx are doing just fine, right? It’s the Post Office that’s always having problems. (Attempting to make the case for government-run healthcare).
45. What’s good for illegal immigrants is also good for people who are losing their health insurance because of Obamacare.

And the biggest lie of all
I Barrack Hussain Obama pledge to preserve protect and defend the Constitution of the United States of America.
Obama voters, here’s your sign…