Some laws to live by

Laws and Rules

First, do not end sentences in a preposition often.

  • If anything can go wrong, it will – Murphy’s Law
  • One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory – Brown’s Rule
  • If you don’t need it and don’t want it, there is always plenty of it – Murphy’s Law of Supply
  • In America, it’s not how much an item costs, it’s how much you save – Paulg’s Law
  • Don’t believe everything you hear or anything you say – Murray’s Law
  • Marriage teaches you loyality, forbearance, selfrestraint, meekness, and a great many other things you wouldn’t need if you had stayed single – Townsend’s Law
  • It doesn’t matter if you win or lose… until you lose – O.J.’s Law
  • Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups – Wethern’s Law of Suspended Judgment
  • There are no answers, only cross-references – Weiner’s Law of Libraries
  • To err is human, but to really f*ck things up requires a computer – Law of Unreliability
  • Once you give up integrity, the rest is easy – Evan’s Law
  • Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other – Ameringer’s Axiom
  • When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong – the 5th Rule of Politics
  • No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right – Scott’s First Law
  • Murphy’s Law always hits at the worst time – Lanning’s Law
  • Things get worse under pressure – Murphy’s Law of Thermodynamics
  • Sometimes it takes several years to recognize the obvious – Sy’s Law of Science
  • If you are in a hole, stop digging – 1st Rule of Excavation
  • There is no issue so small that it can’t be blown out of proportion – Ruckert’s Law
  • The degree to which you overreact to information will be in inverse proportion to its accuracy – Weatherwax’s Postulate
  • The item you had your eye on the minute you walked in will be taken by the person in front of you – Cafeteria Law
  • Nothing is as temporary as that which is called permanent – Jose’s Axiom
  • Nothing is as permanent as that which is called temporary – Corollary
  • Free time that unexpectedly becomes available will be wasted – Sandiland’s Law
  • The one who does the least work will get the most credit – Shapiro’s Law of Reward
  • No matter how often a lie is shown to be false, there will remain a percentage of people who believe it to be true – Law of the Lie
  • The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made – Glyme’s Formula for Success
  • Never replicate a successful experiment – Fett’s Law of the Lab
  • Accuracy is the sum total of your compensating mistakes – Wingfield’s Axiom
  • As soon as you’re doing what you wanted to be doing, you want to be doing something else – Law of Living
  • There’s no time like the present for postponing what you don’t want to do – Hecht’s Law
  • Whichever way you turn upon entering an elevator, the buttons will be on the opposite side – Gluck’s Law
  • If credit can possibly go to someone else, it will – Kovaleski’s Dictum
  • If you don’t do anything, you can’t do anything wrong – Cameron’s Law
  • It is impossible for anyone to learn that which he thinks he already knows – Plutarch’s Rule
  • The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people – Chesterton
  • A little inaccuracy can save a lot of explanation – Munroe’s Teaching Principle
  • You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive – Grandpa Charnock’s Law
  • Man is always ready to die for an idea, provided that the idea is not quite clear to him – Eldridge’s Law of War
  • If you don’t care where you are, you’re not lost – Rune’s Rule of the Road
  • The probability of someone’s asking irrelevant questions requiring lengthy responses increases in direct proportion to how tired you are of the meeting. – Bowlby’s Law