Laws and Rules
First, do not end sentences in a preposition often.
- If anything can go wrong, it will – Murphy’s Law
- One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory – Brown’s Rule
- If you don’t need it and don’t want it, there is always plenty of it – Murphy’s Law of Supply
- In America, it’s not how much an item costs, it’s how much you save – Paulg’s Law
- Don’t believe everything you hear or anything you say – Murray’s Law
- Marriage teaches you loyality, forbearance, selfrestraint, meekness, and a great many other things you wouldn’t need if you had stayed single – Townsend’s Law
- It doesn’t matter if you win or lose… until you lose – O.J.’s Law
- Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups – Wethern’s Law of Suspended Judgment
- There are no answers, only cross-references – Weiner’s Law of Libraries
- To err is human, but to really f*ck things up requires a computer – Law of Unreliability
- Once you give up integrity, the rest is easy – Evan’s Law
- Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other – Ameringer’s Axiom
- When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong – the 5th Rule of Politics
- No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right – Scott’s First Law
- Murphy’s Law always hits at the worst time – Lanning’s Law
- Things get worse under pressure – Murphy’s Law of Thermodynamics
- Sometimes it takes several years to recognize the obvious – Sy’s Law of Science
- If you are in a hole, stop digging – 1st Rule of Excavation
- There is no issue so small that it can’t be blown out of proportion – Ruckert’s Law
- The degree to which you overreact to information will be in inverse proportion to its accuracy – Weatherwax’s Postulate
- The item you had your eye on the minute you walked in will be taken by the person in front of you – Cafeteria Law
- Nothing is as temporary as that which is called permanent – Jose’s Axiom
- Nothing is as permanent as that which is called temporary – Corollary
- Free time that unexpectedly becomes available will be wasted – Sandiland’s Law
- The one who does the least work will get the most credit – Shapiro’s Law of Reward
- No matter how often a lie is shown to be false, there will remain a percentage of people who believe it to be true – Law of the Lie
- The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made – Glyme’s Formula for Success
- Never replicate a successful experiment – Fett’s Law of the Lab
- Accuracy is the sum total of your compensating mistakes – Wingfield’s Axiom
- As soon as you’re doing what you wanted to be doing, you want to be doing something else – Law of Living
- There’s no time like the present for postponing what you don’t want to do – Hecht’s Law
- Whichever way you turn upon entering an elevator, the buttons will be on the opposite side – Gluck’s Law
- If credit can possibly go to someone else, it will – Kovaleski’s Dictum
- If you don’t do anything, you can’t do anything wrong – Cameron’s Law
- It is impossible for anyone to learn that which he thinks he already knows – Plutarch’s Rule
- The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people – Chesterton
- A little inaccuracy can save a lot of explanation – Munroe’s Teaching Principle
- You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive – Grandpa Charnock’s Law
- Man is always ready to die for an idea, provided that the idea is not quite clear to him – Eldridge’s Law of War
- If you don’t care where you are, you’re not lost – Rune’s Rule of the Road
- The probability of someone’s asking irrelevant questions requiring lengthy responses increases in direct proportion to how tired you are of the meeting. – Bowlby’s Law
if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always have what you’ve already got.
How could you forget Rule 34?
Expect nothing and you will not be disappointed.
90% of everything is crap–Sturgeon’s law
The ONLY universal constant is change.
“It is impossible for anyone to learn that which he thinks he already knows” is supposedly Epictetus’s rule, according to Wikipedia.
“If a man would pursue Philosophy, his first task is to throw away conceit. For it is impossible for a man to begin to learn what he has a conceit that he already knows.”
- from http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Epictetus
Also, “You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive – Grandpa Charnock’s Law” is supposedly a quote by the comedian Steven Wright according to this: http://www.weather.net/zarg/ZarPages/stevenWright.html
Great list, but one law really stood out…
The exact point that politicians garner the votes of the poor with the funds of the rich is the very reason why every western democracy is in trouble today – servicing their financiers instead of the people who voted for them.
Time for a rethink to regain some happiness for all the people, not just the pocketbooks of the rich.
Nothings official, until its over – Ian’s Law
That’s cold bro
[...] Some Laws to Live By… I like these rules. They make me smile. [...]
If the sign says “pull” you will instinctively push. If the sign says “push” you will instinctively pull
And if the man says relax, you invariably clench.
Always remember that no matter where you go…
there you are!
I am obsessed with Disney and to see this guy’s drawings of the princesses in this way is just AMAZING!
“If he dies, he dies” Drago’s Law
Nothing is certain, this is certain.-Jake’s Law
You Live to the level of your pay check.
Steve’s Law
Hypocrites may give the best advice….
And nothing is over until the fat lady sings….Yogi’s dictum.
there are no absolutes in life…only vodka.
Disappointers never disappoint to disappoint!
“89.71% of all statistics are false” – Babukhan’s Law
Do NOT talk about Fight Club
Murphy was an optimist.
My grandma Annie used to say ‘Never believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.’ Older I get the more sense it makes.
The chances of someone being compared to Adolf Hitler / The Nazi’s whilst having an argument is directly proportionate to the length of said argument – Bodwin’s Law
Rule 6 has always been my fav because there is no rule 6 – Monty Python I think.
Actually, the thing about learning what someone thinks he already knows is Plato’s idea. He writes about it in the Meno, when Socrates is teaching the slave boy some form of math even though the boy doesn’t know any math, and also in the Apology when Socrates is defending himself.
That didn’t come from Wikipedia, that came from reading the Meno and Apology.
What doesn’t kill us makes us a little weaker, so the next thing will kill us.
only those people who take the initiative have the right to complain..my friend’s rule
i think i’m in love with Ian
There are only two races, Male and female, all the rest is decoration.
Tea Partiers reject tea baggers ?
“Never believe anything till it’s officially denied” -Claud Cockburn
If you don’t do anything, you’ll never make mistakes
The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten.
Nothing can exceed the speed of light except recently
Photographs never speak.Paintings never stop
An artist is not a camera.
It is impossible to be angry and hypocritical simultaneously
Whenever a politician says Yes or No he means No or Yes
Rule #2: No writing on the walls. – Barney Fife
Aim at nothing and you’ll hit it every time.
Always leave room for disappointment in every dealing with others.
Always assume the other drivers on the road will do the wrong thing . . . trucker’s law
this piece of crap is no help
the chances of the bread falling with the buttered side on the carpet is directionally proportionate to the cost of the carpet
the man who never made a mistake never made anything
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It pays to do your scorecard in pencil.
The most successful politicians are those who run one
step behind the the Devil and two steps ahead of the Law.